It can be easy, when you’re dating, to find your identity as a man or woman in your relationship.How many times have we introduced ourselves when we’re dating as “I’m Jack’s girlfriend,” or “I’m Sarah’s boyfriend.” But the reality of our masculinity and femininity is drawn out in our relationship with the opposite sex and in our friendships with people of the same sex.My favorite example of the rose window is the window you’ll find in Notre Dame.
The window is a giant wheel surrounded by hundreds of different medallions, colors, and designs. Yet with Christ is at the center, the medallions are in sync and swirl harmoniously.If you think of your life as a rose window, is Christ at the center?We get wrapped up in the discernment process, that we forget to talk and more importantly to listen to, the Lord.It can be tempting to put Christ in a little medallion and put ourselves in the center of the rose window of our lives.In March 2016, on top of a mountain, I said ‘yes’ to a marriage proposal from the love of my life.
Ten months later, I vowed before my friends and family that I would love my husband, Joseph, ’til death do us part.“Love is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise,” Eric Fromm wrote in his book He goes on to say, “If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. How can I judge that it will stay forever, when my act does not involve judgment and decision.” There are some days when loving Joseph is a hard decision.There are some days where that choice is the easiest choice I’ve ever made.But I wish that, before I started dating, I would have known the weight of the words ‘love is a decision’.Love isn’t something that you get swept away in – it’s a decision.To love is to be vulnerable.” Before I discerned my vocation as a woman, I wish I would have know the importance of a community of women. I can affirm his masculinity, but I’m not an example of of how to live out authentic masculinity in today’s culture.