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Let me just get this out: Long distance relationships (LDRS) suck. We were in the same time zone, but 10.5 hours away by bus (more, if there was traffic). I’m not going to lie, the first couple weeks, I sat in my apartment wondering how this was going to work out. Nearly a year and a half after we began our long-distance relationship, we both said “I do” at a small ceremony in Texas and moved to a tiny apartment in Japan together.

We’re happily married now – and my husband (silly as he is) claims that while our Long Distance relationship was hard, it made our relationship even stronger.

Between the phone calls, Skype calls, and text messages – you have absolutely no way of knowing what they are doing. You have to trust they will tell you if their affections are wavering or if they are tired of the relationship.

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All relationships are hard – but long distance relationships have a whole other dimension to them.You need to learn how to productively argue via Skype without yelling over each other because jealousy, trust issues, insecurities, and not being able to see each other every day will lead to arguments (I mean, more arguments than a normal relationship).This gets hard when you go to a party, meet up with friends, or end up at a concert where an attractive brunette locks their hand in yours or pulls you in for a hug.You whole body is screaming out “FINALLY” while your mind is churning out in the background “But what about your boyfriend…? Do you have the willpower to purposefully make yourself miserable and craving – all in the name of love?I’m going to move across the country just because.” Long distance isn’t a chosen path, it is usually thrust upon you with the choices. And as hard as long distance is, it works just as long as both parties would rather be in a long-distance (albeit a crappy one, with scarce communication and trust issues) than broken up. Long distance relationships require even more trust than a regular relationships.

When you see each other several times a day, you is gone.

Plane tickets, snail mail, surprise presents, hotel rooms, vacations, and bus tickets cost money.

Without money, you can’t do a successful long distance relationship.

But I also think absence makes the heart go wander (clever, I know). I’ve noticed about 1/3 of the time it is justified, and the other 2/3 is just crazy talk. it’s just that distance makes people do crazy things.

During one particularly low point in our long-distance, Ryosuke forgot to log out of Facebook on my computer and I read through all of his private messages. I told him a couple months later – and he thought it was hilarious. Dealing with jealousy in a long distance relationship is one of the hardest things to do. You can trust your significant other not to cheat on you as much as you trust the sun to rise each day, but if you see a picture of them at a party with a hot blonde on their arm, jealousy is going to rear it’s ugly head. I love holding hands and leaning on my fiances shoulder on long bus rides. To me, more than the jealousy and trust, the lack of physical contact is the hardest aspect of a long distance relationship.

The only way to make a long distance relationship work is with trust.