Chemistry and dating

Eye contact is a critical part of how we communicate – and it can be shockingly intimate.

Our eyes are one of the most expressive parts of our body- yet their value in flirting is under-appreciated.

The brain starts searching around for a reason: am I scared? The power that touch has with building sexual tension cannot be understated.

Now to be sure, you need a certain level of intimacy and comfort before you can move from casual touching to more sexually charged touch – you don’t want to just reach up and stroke the neck of the woman you just met at the bar unless you’re interested in wearing an amaretto sour for the rest of the night. You might run your nails gently down their back before pulling back and stepping aside.

Warm breath on the neck – perhaps accompanied by “you smell nice” can make the difference between a chaste kiss and being grabbed by the back of your favorite head for major make-outs.

Direct eye-contact can be intimidating, even uncomfortable if you hold it for too long… As a general rule, I recommend not holding someone’s eyes for longer than a few seconds to avoid creeping them out.

However, once you’ve been more calibrated for how long you can hold someone’s gaze without intimidating them, you can actually use that fear response to your advantage.

Either way, the date’s over and you’re stuck in recovery mode instead of leading towards a night of passion and several hours of squishy noises back at your place.

You want to provide a takeaway in order to pull the tension back as well as keep them off balance.

The problem is that because we have such a hard time explaining chemistry it takes on the level of myth – chemistry is just there or it isn’t. The closer you get to actually getting it but without actually being able to achieve it causes the desire to grow.

Which – brace yourselves, I’m about to blow your minds – is bullshit. Marketers know this, which is why they practice artificial scarcity – they’ll tell you “Call now, supplies are running out!

Chemistry is a mix of sexual tension and emotional and intellectual engagement, and it can be built, if you know how. It’s a facet of our personalities that we want that which is denied to us. ” and rub their hands with glee whenever the news outlets pick up a story on how the HOT NEW GADGET is unavailable. Check e Bay the morning after a new i Phone is released.

One of the key components of chemistry is sexual tension. Sexual tension is desire for someone that is somehow thwarted, whether by circumstance, obstacles… But we’re talking about desire, not materialism, right?

Sexual tension – deliberately building and then frustrating sexual interest – is all about the lead-up.