They key to not being a dumb dater on the heartbreak fast track is to keep the level of intimacy in the relationship one step behind the level of trust at all times. We’re mortified of having sex before marriage and terrified of not getting any after. It is a highly beneficial and enjoyable part of what makes you… If you’re approaching sex, sexual temptation, or your personal sex drive with fear, you are actually giving it power. It’s on nearly every dating advice blog I’ve ever read.
If my experience serves me correctly, however, your memory of that command will probably be inversely proportional to the hotness of your potential date. Placing marriage-esque commitment expectations on yourself or your date will just set you both up for an ER’s worth of emotional damage. Here’s what you’ll typically hear from someone claiming to be “in the friendzone.”, not what he or she is not.
I fully identified the long-term strengths, weaknesses, upsides, and downsides of all my closest friends within the first hour of meeting them. Dating is only as serious as you make it, or as fun as you allow it to be. This is the inescapable, platonic box to which a girl supposedly designates any good guy who actually cares about her. This can go both ways, but it seems most prevalent for guys.
It seems that dating might be universally confusing. What makes Christian dating so hopelessly complicated is the Christians themselves.
We bring our love for out-of-context scripture and applied-only-when-convenient principles into the mix, making for an entirely unique brand of utter ridiculousness. You don’t have to think, because we’re here to do it for you.
Christians aren’t the only ones obsessed with the dating scene.
If you search “rules for dating,” you may notice the unchurched are just as guideline-happy as the rest of us.
When we truly understand our place as sons and daughters of God, we aren’t bound by superficial rules.
A loved child doesn’t pause every step to ask permission or make sure Dad isn’t angry.
If you’re emotionally broken or scarred, go get healing. But if you’re healthy, the only rule you need to follow is simply to be you.
Self-development is important, but that’s about you, not about what you think some random bro wants to see.
I’m not recommending that you have no minimum requirements for dating. Here’s the problem, ladies and gentlemen: The friendzone is a lie. If you want to be taken seriously as a date, take yourself seriously as a man.