Jennifer Jill Harman, a Colorado State University researcher, suggested in an email that this might have to do with the idea that if one partner in a relationship is significantly more attractive than the other, “people tend to assume something else is ‘traded.’ So an unattractive older male most likely has status and money to trade for a younger and beautiful female.
As was written in blog Persephone Magazine's "Fat Sex: What Everyone Wants To Know But Is Afraid To Ask," sometimes the first step is to "overcome the idea that your partner doesn’t know how fat you are." Whether you then do things like place a pillow under the small or your back or under your butt to "give your partner optimal thrusting room since this positioning moves your thighs out of the way and really opens the vagina up for deep penetration" when you're doing missionary or "put a pillow under your partner’s butt to elevate him or her higher" when you're on top, there's no shame in tailoring your bedroom activities for whatever is going to feel best. He's never said or done anything that should've made me question things in such a way, yet the fact that "hot people fall in love with hot people and fat, ugly people fall in love with fat, ugly people" was this unwritten rule I'd been hearing my whole life still made my insecurities flair up with all the fervor of any irrational but socially-fueled insecurity. Something about a teenage dude whose buddies bribed him him to ask the fat girl in history class to prom in exchange for illegal beer. Having grown up in a very traditional home, gender roles were the foundation of many a rule and moral that someone or other tried to instill in me.
For the first half a year or so of my relationship, I would sometimes find myself in a state of paranoia. Men make the most money; women keep the house looking nice.
But no, thigh fat does not prevent a penis from getting up in there.
And I'm pretty sure crushing someone to death would require a whole lot more pressure than the grinding lower half of a 250 or 350-pound girl.
In fact, with the exception of Gabourey Sidibe's sex scene on Empire , I don't think I've ever come across a sex scene of a fat chick and a "hot" guy.
Let alone a sex scene in which said gal's weight wasn't, like, "a thing."When you date a smaller partner, you become acutely aware of this fact.
It's the kind of thinking tied to the promotion of homogenization — to the same systems of belief that say bodies of different colors or bodies of the same gender or bodies of varying cultural backgrounds just shouldn't mix.
The idea of fat, conventionally unattractive women having sex or falling in love with or being loved by thin, conventionally attractive dudes freaks some people out.
Whether this is because humans who go against the status quo make a lot of people feel on edge, or because some (though not all) thin women might feel threatened by the fat woman fucking the "gorgeous" dudes who should be fucking the "gorgeous" women with toned legs and who "work hard for their bodies," or whether it's because we're afraid of the things we don't see, and fat people (especially women) dating thin people (especially men) isn't really something we ever see in mainstream media, I can't say for sure.
But I do think it's all fueled by the oppression of fat bodies overall, and the sexism that so obviously still guides contemporary living.
It didn't matter if they were "my type," or if we had anything in common, so long as their presence diminished mine. Being the bigger one in the relationship has been a blast.