Even if they are under your roof and there are rules they should abide by, unless the father sticks up for you, there is really nothing you can do besides ask them nicely to behave.
Anymore and you are reported to the mother which then turns into a brouhaha best avoided (never knew such a ruckus could be created from asking a child to put their glass on a coaster when staying at my house simple rule that is standard in a house filled with antiques! Although having sole custody means you never get a break from the children, it is more like a normal home and the rules of the house do not change from one week to the next.
Kids are suppose to come first despite the nature of the relationship with the parent and child and with the girlfriend/spouse.
A good father would never say to a woman (who may not be here tomorrow) "You come before my kids" and a woman who wants to be serious with a single father should realize she isn't entering a relationship with just a man. Because if you do, it'll not only affect the father and make him resent you for it later on, but it'll affect the child. Why does she always have to be thrown to the sidelines? Keeping your children a #1 priority is expected indeed, but this sounds like the boy isn't being taught what a "heathy" adult relationship is either.
It's a package deal."You will never know nor understand the love a parent has for a child until you have children of your own" I dont agree with that at all. But that is an issue that you have to take up with your partner. The key part is that you have to sit down with him and talk about it. The drive up there would be a PERFECT time to talk! Yes, the kids should take top priority but they also have to learn that the parents do need to have other relationships and activities that don't completey revolve around them.
Just because it's not YOUR child does NOT mean you cant come to love the child like he/she were your own. If you cant communicate your feelings then you will always be back there. Instead of sitting there wondering why your not fitting in, make yourself fit in. Also, you should be happy that this man puts his son first! Your children have joined your life, but need to respect all aspects of it.[ within reason]If you are going to dedicate all of your emotional and physical self to your kids 24-7 , you are going to create very self centred little people.
Getting more involved is a way of putting yourself up there. Whats that tell you is going to happen when you two have children of your own (If it gets that far)? In a few years when your children leave home you will be feeling very lost....have given them very few tools to develop relationships inthe future.
I dont agree that you should have to sit home alone while he makes his trips to D. Of course my kids come 1st in all I do...I need to have other healthy relationships or I would go insane !!!!
Maybe if you had / have kids you would look at the situation differently.
if you're suppost to be ONE with your mate, how the hell can a child come before you??? When kids are in the picture, you have someone else's life to care for.
Why do I have to stay home alone on weekends and holidays? and if we all go out together and do something, I'm made to feel like an outsider.. My suggestion, if you want someone soley focused on you (which appears to be 24/7) stay away from men with children. But I was always taught that it was GOD, SPOUSE, CHILD......... Do you think that him not having full custody has anything to do with it?
yet you have the nerve to come to me with your problems and issues so I can help you fix them? Until you realize that there are many good men out there who have priorities with children i think you should stay away from them. You probably shouldn't date religious men either that put God first. but laying there with someone, looking at them and saying "I love you" and their response being, "oh, I miss Rian.."....... I do agree with you in part when you are being intimate and expressing feelings that he starts talking about his kid. Yea, clearly you need to date childless partners right now.
You clearly need to date guys that don't have any children. But sometimes it's hard for a parent to get the little one off the brain, probably even more so for someone that only gets to see their child a few days out of the month. You will never know nor understand the love a parent has for a child until you have children of your own. Yes, I wont deny that these men are good fathers and are following their responsibility.
Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate. When him and I were just dating, things were great..