It’s all about being totally happy, honest and clean.When in doubt about anything, ask yourself: How does this advance my sobriety? ”Lucia, a 30-year-old who works in TV industry in Los Angeles and has been sober for five years, says, “Most everyone—sober or not—has problems and issues and baggage.Should you follow Faulkner’s advice and ask your beloved attend meetings?
“I started dating a guy who told me he didn’t drink,” she recalls.“We had very civilized, nice dates but, after a while, I started to catch onto the fact that he really did drink—he was just trying to control his drinking and never indulged around me.Carroll offers, “Most alcoholics know places that don’t serve liquor—coffeehouses, museums.If you’re going out to dinner, it’s okay to wait till you arrive, and when the wine list arrives just say, ‘Nah, I don’t do that anymore.’ Do it casually; whether to go into greater detail or not really depends upon the relationship.”Amy, a 32-year-old stylist who lives in Manhattan and has been sober for 10 years, tells of romancing a particular “normie,” who turned out to be anything but.When I first decided to get sober, I told my fiancé, “I think I am going to go to AA and quit the booze for good.” His reply: “Awww, I’m gonna lose my drinking buddy? ”As you may expect, that relationship imploded shortly thereafter.
So, at the age of 38, single for the first time since I was 25, I was newly sober, heartbroken, and absolutely befuddled.If that person has good recovery and the normie is a casual drinker, however, there’s no reason why it couldn’t be a good romantic situation.”For me, dating is still fraught with drama—but way less than it was three years ago.It may sound like a cliché, but the tools I’ve gained in AA help me remain more serene and rational in every aspect of my life—even in the crazy, wild, irresistible realm of love. Alumni have high praise for this this New Jersey program which offers customized treatment plans and holistic care to its college-aged clientele.“If the sober person is in early recovery or if the drinker is a problem drinker, the chances for a good dating experience are dim.Though most people won’t wait two years into sobriety to start dating, keep in mind that the smell of alcohol, the taste of a kiss [with someone who’s been drinking], the clinking of ice in the glass, as well as the bar and the bar scene could be triggers.”Irene Carroll, a North Carolina–based addiction therapist, says, “Dating is just so risky for people in early in recovery, especially so if you’re considering going out with someone who isn’t sober. ” Naturally, when going out with someone who drinks, sober people often wonder when and how to reveal the fact that they don’t drink.“I hung in there for a few more months but the truth is that I really wanted to drink during that time: He and his friends made it look so appealing.