The Cut’s “Ask a Boss” columnist Alison Green tackles your questions on the particularly complicated matter of office relationships and dating your co-workers. I think the feelings are mutual, but I can’t be certain because we’ve never spoken directly about it, and we’ve been very professional up to this point.What do you do if you think your boss is having an affair with your co-worker? I don’t want to put her in an uncomfortable position, especially if I’m wrong about her returning my feelings. As in, I think about her all of the time and I can’t wait to get to work each day just so I can see her.
But if you’re not comfortable escalating this to someone above your boss, you don’t have many options.Someone from above needs to intervene, and it’s not something you have standing to do on your own.We have discussed this with my manager and he seems unconcerned about the problems.Yeah, even if your boss and Jane aren’t actually having an affair, they’re behaving so intimately with each other that of course people will worry about favoritism and bias.Or should I try and find a different job, and then ask? You have to continue working each other, and it’s not fair to introduce that potential for discomfort into her daily work environment.
do is make a few warm, friendly overtures to try to get to know her better, and pay attention to see if they’re reciprocated.However, if you tip off someone above him, you can be explicit that you’re concerned about repercussions and ask that the person do their own observation and be discreet about where the initial information came from.That’s not always something a company can honor, but in a case like this they should be able to.I know I have less of a chance of the hiring manager looking at my résumé because I am not a local and would be relocating.If you hadn’t worked together before those lunch dates, the connection would be too tenuous to be useful.If you don’t see those things, that means you’ll need to back off.