I’m lonely and very different, I’m eccentric, have eccentric tastes and I’m a lot more mature then most people I meet in most social settings (I’ve been regularly mistaken for 40 when I was 18) I’m also a romantic whose entire cultural upbringing utterly rejects the idea of genders freely mixing and all that cabal. I can out-argue almost anyone and I can debate exceptionally well but I’ve zero social skills that aren’t an argument, sports or one of my passions (which many people do not like) I’m regularly putting my foot in it in casual conversations and I have been told in the past that I am far far too intense.
On the plus side, most of my closest friends are all female (I do not and have not had romantic feelings for any of them) and they’re great people but they all offer conflicting advice on what my problem is.
We grow up, we figure it out, we stop doing that stuff.It is unlikely, being as self-aware as you are now, that you will repeat those same mistakes.This means that you are recognizing what you like in a person, and learning more about who you are really attracted to.This will serve you well when you meet someone who is single and who has the qualities you like.James Bond in Skyfall, talking to a beautiful Asian woman " data-medium-file="https://captainawkwarddotcom.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/jamesbond.jpg?
w=300&h=200" data-large-file="https://captainawkwarddotcom.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/jamesbond.jpg? w=545" class="size-medium wp-image-7143" src="https://captainawkwarddotcom.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/jamesbond.jpg? w=300&h=200" alt="James Bond in Skyfall" width="300" height="200" srcset="https://captainawkwarddotcom.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/jamesbond.jpg?
A few years ago a I saw a very beautifully made and very personal student film about a lonely and shy young man who has insomnia so he walks around downtown late at night, visiting a diner where he has a crush on the waitress, and otherwise encountering women who all don’t notice him or outright reject him.
It was beautifully shot and scored and acted, but I’m not sure that what’s stayed with me is what the filmmaker wanted to stay with me, which is that every single woman that the protagonist ran into in this world was young, pretty, white, able-bodied, straight, and assumed to be potentially dateable.
I get really confused and I pick up a lot of body language, but I have no understanding of social cues. Dear Awkward & Lonely: My own time as a Nice Girl(tm) is well-documented on this blog, so, take hope?
It’s a pattern of behavior, not a permanent designation or identity.
Not every work created by a woman goes against this grain, obviously, since we’re all swimming in the same cultural soup. Check things off, or join a social site like Goodreads.