Although the Big Book of AA doesn’t offer guidelines on dating in recovery, addiction counselors strongly advise waiting until a person has achieved one year of sobriety.
Tanya Desloover, MA, CADCII, a marriage and family therapist intern at The Rose, a women-only addiction treatment center in Newport Beach, California, also recommends waiting one year.
But putting things in such a neutral form would make it easier for others to accept — it doesn’t sound like you will be going to group meetings, objecting to others who drink, and so on — which in fact you don’t do. You could find people who, for other than reasons of being alcoholics, don’t drink.But, if you date drinkers, make sure they are soundly moderate drinkers themselves — and that their lives don’t revolve around alcohol. In early recovery, people tend to choose the same type of partner they would’ve chosen when they were using drugs.This person often is abusive or codependent, as is the recovering person early on.I find it very frustrating because I am not ashamed of being sober. And furthermore, do you have any suggestions that I could use to make people feel more at ease with my sobriety? Americans in general claim that they accept that alcoholism is a disease, and accept AA.
But, it seems many don’t want it to touch their lives.Codependent individuals focus too heavily on the needs of their partner (“My happiness is dependent on making/keeping you happy”), and define themselves by their relationship, sometimes lowering their personal standards to please someone else.Some women choose abusive partners in early recovery because they lack discernment or grew accustomed to being treated poorly in childhood.Further Reading Dear Stanton, I hope this is a question you can field, I didn’t see one like it with the others.I am a twenty-three year old college student, who has been recovering from alcoholism for over two years.This control is attractive at first, but soon becomes controlling or abusive” says Desloover.