“When an older woman looks for a younger partner, she’s probably quite comfortable with her sexuality,” she explains, “it’s likely that she’s already been married or had children.
“For most women, aging means a humiliating process of gradual sexual disqualification,” she scathingly wrote, “society is much more permissive about aging men.” Marine builds on Sontag’s earlier woes: “Many people are still shocked to see an older woman with a younger man,” she says, “they might think ‘what if that was my mother, or my son!’.” Yet it’s not all cradle snatching and oedipal gloom for older women dating younger men.And, of course, if you are woman who would like to date a younger man or if you are a man who would like to date an older woman, why wait to meet that special someone? famously proclaimed 2009 as the year of the cougar.The now well-known term wasn’t a reference to the Chinese calendar; rather, it was a bordering-on-crass idiom coined to define 40-plus women with a predilection for younger gentlemen.If you’re struggling for ideas, there’s a slew of blogs and websites that testify to the plus sides for both women and men.
For Marine, one of the biggest draws has a lot to do with compatibility.
“Different expectations of relationships can lead to heartache,” she says, “especially if the woman is expecting a traditional commitment when the man aspires to be a player.” Those guys who aren’t in it for the kudos will quickly find out that dating an older woman isn’t a one-sided affair in the slightest.
That’s right, younger chaps also stand to benefit too.
Energetic romping aside, a young admirer is a welcome alternative to the more vintage male, especially in the spontaneity department.
The chances are that a younger man hasn’t had the time to accumulate the emotional baggage that comes with growing old either.
In conversation, Ganahl, who’s written extensively on older woman/younger man relationships, proposes an astute plus-side: “Younger men were raised by mothers during or after the women’s movement,” she says, “therefore, many tend to be far less sexist than their fathers, and not as preoccupied with money and status.” A word of warning though: watch out for boastful boys who’re just out to get bragging rights over their mates.