The friend who would get pissed at you for disagreeing with them in public.
The two-faced smilers who would be pleasant to people’s faces but had no problem cutting them down when their back was turned.
How many times have you had someone – a friend, a lover, even family – pull a guilt-trip on you?
As a result, I became the sort of person who was very good at finding excuses for why things had gone wrong – it wasn’t Why would I do this?
Because I didn’t want to acknowledge my part: I was choosing to continue a relationship with someone who made me miserable.
I had been there for less than an hour before she showed up to quite literally drag me away (warning sign #3).
I forget what the excuse was, but it was some “togetherness” emergency – I had to go shopping with her for some trivial thing or other. In fact, that phrase – “I let her” – defined the majority of our relationship.This was significant because my ex hated RPGs – she thought they were the stupidest things ever and couldn’t imagine anyone she dated wanting to play them.She also didn’t care for them because it meant I was spending time with my friends and not with her (warning sign #2) – but this time she relented and .The other frequent cause for poor boundaries is an unwillingness to take responsibility for one’s own actions.Taking a stand – saying that you will not tolerate or put up with certain attitudes or behavior – means being willing to accept the responsibility of that choice and thus shouldering the consequences.One of the most common signs of a predatory, abusive personality is the testing of boundaries: trying to push someone further and further out of their comfort zone, using a cycle of rewards and punishments in order to manipulate someone into being willing to knuckle under.