Expanders are made of hard plastic, not exactly lifelike. I ended up telling him about everything later that night and he was so understanding and sympathetic and just wrapped me up in his arms to let me know it was okay. I came to realize that no matter what size you tell your plastic surgeon you want to be, you will be a D. Can you pick yourself up and go on one more date and tell yourself this could be it, the man who will make all the disappointments worthwhile. We who somehow fear, yet are so excited by the next first date.
My first Expander Date was with a great, fun guy who, later into the date, came up behind me and put his arms around me. We who sometimes question the beauty of our own body and try to figure out how to coexist with the past and the present images.
Yes, we're all eternally grateful to be cancer free, this is a separate issue.
First there's the expanders after surgery to stretch your skin so implants will eventually fit. Then the time comes when you've expanded enough for implants. Try explaining that to the next guy you're dating and want to sleep with. Can you justify when he ghosts - he wasn't the one, it's his loss, I didn't like him that much anyway. Can you believe there is someone out there who will look at you and see you and love what he sees? I am beautiful and I am whole and I am ready for love. Somehow they don't seem to go together, yet they do for millions of women.
I was lucky, a double mastectomy, no chemo, no radiation and no drugs. But taking the breasts off a single woman who is actively dating - that's the tough part! You think it's over now and life will go on as before, but it's not. Having a double means you have no more breast tissue which means no more feeling in your breasts. And a bunch of scars that travel across your breasts like a roadmap. This is the time that you have to truly believe in yourself - when he doesn't call you again after you told him, or he can't understand why you won't let him touch you and he thinks you don't like him, or that you're not even worthy of being loved until your body looks nearly perfect again - you have to believe with your entire being that you're still the same loving, giving, fun and sexy girl you were before your breasts were taken off. This is when you find out how truly healthy or truly damaged your self esteem really is. Proven over and over again by my heart that perseveres no matter how hurt or sad or astonished it has been. Strange bedfellows - single, dating and a double mastectomy.
All of which may all seem a little ironic to Lance Corporal Roberta Winterton, 20, who only last month was given her marching orders by the Army because she posed topless for Page Three of the Sun.
Last night the news brought accusations that the Ministry of Defence is wasting scarce resources at a time when the forces are desperately short of manpower and equipment.
But the Patients' Association disputed this claim, protesting that it was more difficult to secure breast implants on the NHS because of a crackdown on 'unnecessary surgery'.
Tory defence spokesman Iain Duncan-Smith pointed out that half the Royal Navy's warship fleet is tied up in port, scores of RAF planes are grounded, and the Army needs both personnel and firepower. So I spent a long time searching for a solution, but that's another story.We who want love and acceptance and to know we're okay just as we are.'If the problems continue following counselling and other treatment, then a breast implant will be considered as an absolute last resort.' And given that it costs thousands of pounds to recruit and train soldiers, he added: 'It cannot be argued that this is a waste of money if it means that those concerned can continue to perform their jobs properly.' Breast implant surgery is financed from the Mo D's general medical services budget, and defence chiefs claim the qualifying criteria remain the same as in civilian life.'It is consistent with national practice, and mirrors the service provided for people with psychological problems who seek such operations in the NHS,' they say.Does knowing that implants don't last forever change your odds of buying boobs?