, advises parents to first examine the quality of the dating relationship before worrying about how or when to introduce the kids.
"The commitment is the most important piece because, when there's commitment, that becomes obvious to the kids." Being true to yourself and your partner is key.
Most importantly, you'll want to affirm your commitment to the kids and respond to any questions they have.
You were supposed to stay with him forever – but that went south.That was bad enough, now they have to deal with the fact that there’s another man in your life? Telling your kids you’ve begun a romantic relationship with someone new is tricky.When you do decide the time is right, pull each child aside individually to deliver this news.A close, intimate conversation between just the two of you will afford him or her a greater sense of safety and more freedom to react in a genuine, uninhibited way. ” Even if they don’t express that concern out loud, tell them that this in no way affects the relationship you have with them.And in the event that the relationship doesn't last, parting ways could potentially be as painful for them as your initial separation or divorce from your ex.
Once you've both decided that this is a serious, committed relationship, you'll want to begin a meaningful dialogue with your children.When the children first learn you are in a new relationship, their first thought will likely be of their other parent; they’ll worry s/he is in some way being betrayed.If you can assure them that their other parent is already aware of this news, the guilt and burden they may feel will be lifted.Just as important, you're also not issuing some type of ultimatum about accepting your partner.Rather, you're initiating a conversation about how important your children are to you, and what you each want for your future.Peter Sheras, a clinical psychologist at the University of Virginia, and the author of When it comes to making the actual introductions, you'll want to plan an informal outing or activity.