To be treated with respect and a fair division of the work in both sex roles are non negotiables in a marriage arrangement.
It pains me to see so many smart successful women who have so much going for them in their professions and social worlds compromise themselves in the most intimate of circles.
Like Latino lovers, they are two-timers or three or four or 22-timers and keep a rotating Rolodex of women in their minds.
Of course there are individual differences, but I feel that the “Greek man syndrome” a mix of pride, dominating stubbornness, unfaithfulness and disrespect towards females, has something to do with the way boys are socialized in Greek culture.The discrepancies between the ways a Greek girl and a Greek boy are huge and their respective socially sanctioned behaviors create a conflict in relationships.I have tried to replicate I them what I have hoped to accomplish in myself as a hyphenated American.I never wanted to “greekness” to fade away into a barf shade of grey.Relationships are extremely complicated, I know that.
But all too often I see the sacrifices to self and self worth, especially in terms of respect and equal division of house work and child rearing, that many of my Greek women friends have made for the sake of keeping comfortably Greek.While everyone assumes that Greek men will cheat, that is not the case for Greek women.As a wife, she is supposed to be the Penelope and remain virtuous, even when her husband is a two or 22 – timer.I can safely say that both “feel” more Greek even if I had to become über-Greek so to speak in an effort to keep them from going “Greek lite” as I felt holding on to Greek culture extremely important.It was important for me that my daughters grow up Greek, but with all the benefits of feeling like empowered American women.Yet I did not want to compromise my self respect or settle for a spoiled overbearing Greek which tended to be my lot with most of the Greek men I met.