I'm wearing a low cut shirt and you've been staring at my breasts all night. I'll go slower." Otherwise, skillfully move forward. Do not push the clit like it is a doorbell at some house that you need to get inside of.
If she says yes, say something like "I'm sorry - you just look so fucking delicious. Do not drum your fingertips against her vulva like you are impatiently waiting at the Sears Tire Center for your receipt. It's a simple question, and most women will answer straight out.
Don't make me get on top right out of the gate and start bobbing up and down on your cock like I'm practicing some crazy new aerobic yoga because YOU won't go down on me. There are lots of women out there who make fucking really difficult. Don't think of this as complaining, or as schadenfreude for the Andrea Dworkins of the world. If she keep moaning or responding, pass Go and collect 0. Your pussy is SO tight." "You're so wet - are you wet because you like the feel of my cock ramming you? I'm going to fill up your little cunt." It doesn't matter that you're wearing a condom; we LOVE hearing this.
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Don't be afraid to ask for more, but when something feels wrong, say so.
In a post-feminist society, you never know exactly what you should be doing. It can be scary, too, when women freak out about what appear to be benign issues.
And men who do their best to be respectful, female-positive humans, I salute you, I do.
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