However, the more you practice self-nurturing, the better your relationships will be.All of the things a good mother does, you have the superior capacity to do, for who knows better than you what are your deepest feelings and needs, if only you’d look.Cultural Factors in the Growth of Anxiety Numerous stresses are contributing to a significant increase in anxiety in spouses, singles, divorced, and children.
A child must not only feel loved, but also that he or she is understood and valued as a separate, unique individual by both parents, who each want a relationship with him or her.Although we have many needs, I’m focusing on nurturing our emotional needs.One way of communicating this is by mirroring or reflecting back what he or she is saying expressing.“You’re angry that it’s time to stop playing now.” Instead of judgment, “You shouldn’t be jealous of Cindy’s new friend,” a child needs acceptance and empathic understanding, such as: “I know you’re hurt and feel left out by Cindy and her friend.” Empathy is a deeper than intellectual understanding.Responding to a child’s tears with laughter, or “That’s nothing to cry about,” or “You shouldn’t be (or ‘Don’t be’) sad,” are forms of denying and shaming a child’s natural feelings.
Even parents who have sympathetic intentions, may be preoccupied or misunderstand and misattune to their child.
With enough repetitions, a child learns to deny and dishonor natural feelings and needs and to believe that he or she is unloved or inadequate. They keep promises and commitments, provide nourishing food and medical and dental care. In fact, it’s each person’s responsibility to be his or her own parent and meet these emotional needs, irrespective of whether you’re in a relationship.
They protect their child from anyone who threatens or harms him or her. Of course, there are times you need support, touch, understanding, and encouragement from others.
It’s identification at an emotional level with what the child feels and needs.
Of course, it’s equally important that a parent appropriately meet those needs, including giving comfort in moments of distress.
Many parents unwittingly harm their children by denying, ignoring, or shaming their child’s needs, actions, and expressions of thoughts or feelings.