From speaking to other plus size women I know I was not alone in this experience.
Apparently there is something arseholes find universally amusing in this cruel and childish behaviour. So when a well-meaning dude makes a slightly clumsy move or lobs a bit of a lame pick-up line your way, you' re so used to dealing with idiots that your defence mechanisms kick in and you shoot him down straight away.
My dating life in my twenties was largely non-existent.
Most relationships (if you can call them that) usually began as friends first.
With the advent of Tinder, Mr or Ms Right is (supposedly) just a swipe away.
Now, online dating iss the norm and apparently everyone is doing it.
At about 30 my bestie and I were squashed around a really crowded bar while a snail-paced barman appeared to pour pints by the drop.
I’d been there for 15 minutes trying to get a drink, and a guy next to me was cracking amusing jokes about the likelihood of getting a drink before the thirst did us in, and whether I thought there was a tortoise in the server’s lineage.Eventually I got my drinks and muscled away from the bar, my best friend in tow.As soon as we got clear of the crowd she said to me, “What the hell is the matter with you?My mind tagged people losers if they showed any interest in me. So having been a bit of a dating wall flower through-out my twenties, turning thirty had a suprising effect on me.The joy of ageing is that, well, you just have less fucks to give.And the thing is, if that happens to you enough times, your defences go up. And I’ve had this confirmed by quite a few men who tend to like bigger women – trying to show interest in a social setting like that can be really difficult.