Because of that stigma, people I date often feel they need to keep me a secret. I don’t blame straight men for having that mentality, because of the way society treats them. We’re proud of the journey we’ve made, so be proud to show us off. But then, as time went on, I realised that being trans doesn’t define someone. I will tell them eventually, but I’d rather they get to know me for me, rather than make their assumptions.
People don't seem to understand sexuality and gender are two completely different things.Because you’re dating a trans woman, it does not question your sexuality at all.I vowed as I left his place in the middle of the night that I would never put myself in that dangerous of a situation again.And even though I now make sure people know my identity before I’m alone with a potential partner, there are still some aspects of this interaction that seem to show up in my dating life no matter how many precautions I take.He was an amateur MMA fighter, came from the hood — apparently a former gang member, as I learned later. We’re the dirty little secrets who get calls only after hours.
It wasn’t that he necessarily made me feel threatened, but I knew the statistics. No matter how beautiful, intelligent, or successful, we are the ones who have to settle for being nothing more than receptacles for men’s desires and insecurities. “I’m a transgender woman.” I emphasized the woman part. I am really comfortable with myself as a guy, so I often joke about my transition with my girlfriend and friends. He's also a transgender advocate and ambassador for All About Trans, and co-created the series of short documentary films 'My Trans Story' which is available to watch on 4OD.Despite one pervasive misconception that transgender people transition for the approval or acceptance of future sexual partners, when I transitioned there was nothing about the forthcoming experience that assured me I would be seen as desirable. But when you’re trans, it’s hard in a completely different way.I didn’t know if I’d ever have the chance to be loved. It’s all too easy to internalize the assumptions that we are rudimentary facsimiles of the people we actually want to be, or that we take on a lifestyle that’s all about mutilating our “God-given, natural” bodies.We’re definitely not all the same in personality either.