Having put themselves in a vulnerable position with a stranger, they figure that a few minutes of consensual sex is better than risking a much worse alternative.
Which is far more depressing than Dowd’s hypothesis.
“There’s a new sense in which young women feel that they are now in competition with porn, and if they don’t put out, it’s easy for the guy to go home, log in to Pornhub and get what he needs there,” Coles says.
“They’re sublimating their own needs to try and please the guy.
And, as a “South Park” episode some years back noted, in almost absurdly wide variety.
Further, the rise of hook-up apps has both empowered women to freely explore their sexuality and yet turned them into something of a commodity, since another woman is just a swipe away.
For how can a real woman-with pores and her own breasts and even sexual needs of her own (let alone with speech that goes beyond “More, more, you big stud! And that’s not to mention emotional attachment, the ability to share our lives, have babies, and all those other reasons why heterosexual men are drawn to women.
”-possibly compete with a cybervision of perfection, downloadable and extinguishable at will, who comes, so to speak, utterly submissive and tailored to the consumer’s least specification? Until fantasy gains those qualities, real women have no competition.If a woman decides to hook up with a guy she met through Tinder, decides she’s not attracted to him IRL, porn culture doesn’t explain her having sex with him.Why would she care about disappointing someone to whom she’s not attracted and, presumably, never wants to see again?There’s a tendency to fill in the blanks with positive information.” (She points to a study showing a sixfold increase in sexual assault associated with online dating.) “It’s very easy to imagine someone online in a positive way,” she says, “but it’s only when you sit down, with all five senses in play, that you can really tell, ‘Do I find this person attractive?'” When I ask her why women would have sex with men whose looks or behavior is turning them off, she replies, “The fear is that dating apps make women interchangeable.” Coles talks about porn and living in a culture where teenagers check their phones a minimum of 75 times a day, always “one click away from some of the most aggressive porn imaginable.” […] In her book, Coles interviews women who explain why they hesitate to tell men that porn sex is not pleasurable to them.For most of human history, erotic images have been reflections of, or celebrations of, or substitutes for, real naked women. I recycled that response in reaction to a 2013 study finding young Japanese men less interested in sex than there forebears.